I wish I had the words to encourage ladies who are going through heart-breaks, that leaves them feeling insecure, lost, unworthy, anxious and every other feelings that a man isn’t suppose to make a girl feel, which is content. Less weight on their shoulders, less heaviness in their head, less negativity, less of, “Am I not enough?” and more of “He’s not enough.” I know all of these pep-talks may seem cliche or “Oh, I’ve heard of that already,” but whatever, you’re gonna hear it again.

Can I just tell you a little story? I liked this boy very much, but our communication was so inconsistent that it left me feeling insecure and especially anxious about how he felt about me. I lost my appetite for two whole weeks, lost a couple of pounds too, all due to the fact that I was giving him so much of my energy and attention (which he never really acknowledge). Of course being ignore by the person you adore the most hurts. Hurts bad. But losing my appetite over that? Schucks no. No man has the right to make you lose your appetite for food. That was when I realize how unhealthy this one-way relationship was for me and I had to literally gather up all my courage (even if I didn’t want to) to end this madness. I had to start ignoring and especially avoid him in all that I do. And when he oh so sweetly popped his face in my head I would give him a little time to linger and wonder about the ‘what if’s’ until I ruined myself, and as cliche as it sounds, pray to God. And of course it’s difficult to stop the habit of thinking about him every second to thinking about him once a day to one a week to once a month until he vanishes.  But that was what it took. And this is when you have the right to make yourself feel like you’re the sh**. But get over that too, and realize that you aren’t losing anything valuable at all. The only thing you lost was yourself. If you’re not you then who’re you? Those spaces in your head and in your heart where he once was, you can go ahead and replace it with you, with what you love to do and the people who loves you for you, who brings smiles to your face, you stimulates your mind to achieve, who encourages you, who thinks the world of you.

I searched for myself when I became someone who I was not familiar with and that’s what you called growth, boys and girls. I’m not the same naive little girl who flirted (ok, maybe I still do just a little bit) or who went out with whoever…and I think this was kind of what I meant when I said it takes losing boundaries to finding them again. You find your worth. You begin to understand why your morals and values were there in the first place. Not that I am back to the old me or that I’ve become stubborn and super bitter. I basically learned and that’s nothing to be bitter about. No one’s happiness is more important than your happiness. My skin has just gotten thicker, but my life, my love still burns the same (Sara Bareilles if you haven’t noticed). More cascade of thoughts to pour, but I have class to attend.